Communication Problems In Relationships
Do you feel like you're always the first to try to fix your relationship?
There are good chances that the answer is "yes." However, you may be surprised to learn that his wife probably thinks he is the "fixer" too!
A recent study of Mars, Venus showed that 83% of women say they are the main folders, while 70% of men identified in that role. Why can not we see that our partners are working hard to improve things between us, too?
Mars Venus Research shows that couples create a lot of misunderstanding misunderstood the intentions of your partner. The truth is that in healthy relationships, both parties should try to "fix" the relationship. What we have to learn is how to recognize the efforts of our partners, and how men and women communicate differently.
There are good chances that the answer is "yes." However, you may be surprised to learn that his wife probably thinks he is the "fixer" too!
A recent study of Mars, Venus showed that 83% of women say they are the main folders, while 70% of men identified in that role. Why can not we see that our partners are working hard to improve things between us, too?
Mars Venus Research shows that couples create a lot of misunderstanding misunderstood the intentions of your partner. The truth is that in healthy relationships, both parties should try to "fix" the relationship. What we have to learn is how to recognize the efforts of our partners, and how men and women communicate differently.
Recognize Problems
The root of the problem seems to be a communication error in common - they understand what is spoken. Unfortunately, most people assume that men and women speak for the same reasons, when if fact they do not.
Mainly women to explore their feelings about, while men talk about everything from finding solutions.
When a woman tries to talk to your partner about a problem, your natural reaction is usually to provide a solution. He wants to be your hero to solve the problem and immediately become Mr. Fix-It, which comes to her rescue. The problem is that while Mr. Fix-It is a wonderful addition to a relationship when there is a flat tire or need a quick fix, this character often causes conflicts in relationships.
Mainly women to explore their feelings about, while men talk about everything from finding solutions.
When a woman tries to talk to your partner about a problem, your natural reaction is usually to provide a solution. He wants to be your hero to solve the problem and immediately become Mr. Fix-It, which comes to her rescue. The problem is that while Mr. Fix-It is a wonderful addition to a relationship when there is a flat tire or need a quick fix, this character often causes conflicts in relationships.
Picture This Scenario
Tara imagine trying to talk to Jason about what is bothering you.
Tara: "I can not believe I went to sleep last night without saying good night to me."
Jason: "You should not feel pain I did not mean anything by it.".
Although Jason thought it was useful to his ability to solve problems, in fact is even angrier than before, because in essence, said her feelings were wrong. Jason was trying to help, but now Tara thinks not worry about it.
How can a man that his wife knows that he wants to help solve a problem without causing more confusion?
The key is to develop your listening skills. When women share their problems, men should resist the temptation to offer solutions, it is not required to be heard. Instead, the practice of listening to his wife without offering solutions.
Tara: "I can not believe I went to sleep last night without saying good night to me."
Jason: "You should not feel pain I did not mean anything by it.".
Although Jason thought it was useful to his ability to solve problems, in fact is even angrier than before, because in essence, said her feelings were wrong. Jason was trying to help, but now Tara thinks not worry about it.
How can a man that his wife knows that he wants to help solve a problem without causing more confusion?
The key is to develop your listening skills. When women share their problems, men should resist the temptation to offer solutions, it is not required to be heard. Instead, the practice of listening to his wife without offering solutions.
Shut Up And Listen
Men should stop giving unsolicited advice.
Try this exercise: When a woman speaks, listen carefully. Make eye contact. Shaking his head. Ask questions about their feelings. Tell him to see how it can be really annoying, difficult, difficult or frustrating for her. Promoting the free and, above all, offer no solution, or try to change their feelings.
If you can keep Mr. Fix-It away for the time sensitive, you will be amazed how grateful is the opportunity to share their feelings.
On the other hand, women must learn to recognize Mr. Fix-It, we started to try to solve their problems. We mean well, but it is simply wrong. Your wife will say something like, "Honey, I appreciate your efforts to help me, but something bothers me and I have to go. Can you hear me for a few minutes? I am not looking for a quick fix."
Although he understands this communication problem, this way of approaching the situation can only help.
Try this exercise: When a woman speaks, listen carefully. Make eye contact. Shaking his head. Ask questions about their feelings. Tell him to see how it can be really annoying, difficult, difficult or frustrating for her. Promoting the free and, above all, offer no solution, or try to change their feelings.
If you can keep Mr. Fix-It away for the time sensitive, you will be amazed how grateful is the opportunity to share their feelings.
On the other hand, women must learn to recognize Mr. Fix-It, we started to try to solve their problems. We mean well, but it is simply wrong. Your wife will say something like, "Honey, I appreciate your efforts to help me, but something bothers me and I have to go. Can you hear me for a few minutes? I am not looking for a quick fix."
Although he understands this communication problem, this way of approaching the situation can only help.
Communicate And Stop Fighting
Men and women have different communication styles. When a man learns to listen to a woman, she will feel understood, respected and quiet. And when a woman understand why her man react to her as you do, you can better appreciate their good intentions and not get upset. Then be free to explain your needs so you can communicate better. Problem solved.
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