Usually if the decision is built to leave the partnership, it is because the person initiating that change is growing personally enough where the personal lessons from your relationship are learned and the relationship no longer serves a reason or feels a similar. In other words, the resonance is not there. (This latter instance is associated with the common phenomenon that, even as learn and grow, we might grow after dark people we have been close to, if they're not also evolving and growing. Kristen Zambucka described this phenomenon when she stated that, "We outgrow people, places, and things once we unfold. We may be saddened when old friends say their piece and then leave our lives...but permit them to go. These were at a different stage and seeking in a different direction." This could be disconcerting to us, in particular when we don't realize that, if our energies are no longer resonating, any former a feeling of closeness usually evaporates - of course, if we further miss that this "changing of partners" is indicative of something positive in us, i.e., our personal growth.)
After a while and through repeatedly traversing to a number of this type of relationship, I came to realize that these relationships which can be based on the partners' inauthentic stuff resonating are things i now call learning relationships. Put simply, we often enter into some relationships primarily to master and grow by implementing our inauthentic stuff, and this purpose of learning is often the primary raison d'tre with this type of relationship. This really is distinguished through the soul mate or partner relationship in which we may be stimulating one another's growth, however it is not the sole purpose to the relationship.
The positive element of learning relationships is they are often a wonderful catalyst for the growth. Each learning relationship is often centered around healing or reworking several aspects of our stuff. Put one way, "Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you" (Mike Murdock). And, usually, until we work on whatever the relationship is trying to teach us and that we "get" it, we're doomed to keep repeating the lesson; that is, we can have a very pattern of serially getting into similar relationships. Recognizing that people have a pattern in relationships can provide us the main element to realizing that there is something in ourselves to function on. "To seem to comprehend is to perceive patterns," Isaiah Berlin wrote - including our own patterns.
If, instead, we don't recognize that there is something to work on in ourselves organic beef stay stuck within the pattern to get a more prolonged period of time. Often we'll then project our unhappiness and blame externally and decry all men or all women as being "worthless," "unavailable," etc. - until we learn to figuratively point that finger back towards ourselves and appearance within to view what we need to work on or difference in ourselves. "Everything that irritates us about others usually leads us to an understanding of ourselves" (Jung). Or, as Molire wrote, "One should examine oneself for some time before thinking about condemning others."
An alternative on this theme of projection and blame centers around people who find themselves "rescuers." Rescuers (no essence type) in many cases are soft-hearted people who are perpetually looking to help and rescue others, sometimes to the extent that they actually believe that is one among their purposes in everyday life. As with people who project their very own stuff outwardly and blame others and things away from themselves, rescuers often need to figuratively point their fingers back at themselves and search within for which they need to rescue in themselves. A pattern of having to rescue others often serves to deflect one's attention from his/her own stuff and what he/she should work on within him/herself. As Aldous Huxley wrote, "There is simply one corner from the universe it is certain of improving and that's your own self."
Learning relationships, especially those that engage us emotionally in an intense manner, certainly are a strong mechanism where we can evolve, once we are stimulated more - over the power of emotion - by these often difficult and/or painful relationship experiences. I myself gained a major lesson in self-esteem via a relationship that was dysfunctional and very difficult. However, the lesson was extremely valuable and was permanently gained - and, indeed, may have been all the more permanently etched within me due to the extent from the difficulty and emotional struggle I underwent.
What we figure to gain from relationships genuinely will vary in one person to another and can vary wildly from learning self-esteem, to becoming less passive and dependent, to understanding how to be more emotionally available, to being more caring, to being less self-absorbed - or perhaps to more and more discerning about relationships. The lessons can be quite diverse. However, one theme running through these learning relationships could be that the universe is drawing care about our inauthentic "stuff" that keeps us from being who we really are and is also asking us to function on it. Not every person, of course, will work on all, or even any, of his/her stuff in a lifetime because that could indeed be, as earlier mentioned, what we will experience in that lifetime - never returning to our pure essence (and, also as earlier mentioned, not everyone will have much inauthentic stuff to work on or clear).
Interestingly, I've seen another mechanism by which these learning relationships operate and that has to do with another ingredient that induces both people to be together inside a relationship, aside from just the resonance of the inauthentic stuff. This factor will often manifest itself like a "pull" between the 2 different people. This pull can often be experienced like a sexual attraction, but are often experienced as being a mental or psychic pull: they may be just fascinated by the other person for whatever reason and can't get that person from his/her mind; or they're continually looking to figure your partner out. (And, yes, this leads to obsession.)
A few things i have frequently seen that we find fascinating is usually that when the lesson that was a major raison d'tre to the relationship is finally learned, the pull between the two of them - sexual attraction, mental conundrum, obsession, or whatever - just disappears as if by magic. I regard this "pull," however it is expressed and experienced, as a device utilized by the universe to have us to master a lesson (by getting us in the relationship that may teach us the lesson). This type of interesting and creative device!
After a while and through repeatedly traversing to a number of this type of relationship, I came to realize that these relationships which can be based on the partners' inauthentic stuff resonating are things i now call learning relationships. Put simply, we often enter into some relationships primarily to master and grow by implementing our inauthentic stuff, and this purpose of learning is often the primary raison d'tre with this type of relationship. This really is distinguished through the soul mate or partner relationship in which we may be stimulating one another's growth, however it is not the sole purpose to the relationship.
The positive element of learning relationships is they are often a wonderful catalyst for the growth. Each learning relationship is often centered around healing or reworking several aspects of our stuff. Put one way, "Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you" (Mike Murdock). And, usually, until we work on whatever the relationship is trying to teach us and that we "get" it, we're doomed to keep repeating the lesson; that is, we can have a very pattern of serially getting into similar relationships. Recognizing that people have a pattern in relationships can provide us the main element to realizing that there is something in ourselves to function on. "To seem to comprehend is to perceive patterns," Isaiah Berlin wrote - including our own patterns.
If, instead, we don't recognize that there is something to work on in ourselves organic beef stay stuck within the pattern to get a more prolonged period of time. Often we'll then project our unhappiness and blame externally and decry all men or all women as being "worthless," "unavailable," etc. - until we learn to figuratively point that finger back towards ourselves and appearance within to view what we need to work on or difference in ourselves. "Everything that irritates us about others usually leads us to an understanding of ourselves" (Jung). Or, as Molire wrote, "One should examine oneself for some time before thinking about condemning others."
An alternative on this theme of projection and blame centers around people who find themselves "rescuers." Rescuers (no essence type) in many cases are soft-hearted people who are perpetually looking to help and rescue others, sometimes to the extent that they actually believe that is one among their purposes in everyday life. As with people who project their very own stuff outwardly and blame others and things away from themselves, rescuers often need to figuratively point their fingers back at themselves and search within for which they need to rescue in themselves. A pattern of having to rescue others often serves to deflect one's attention from his/her own stuff and what he/she should work on within him/herself. As Aldous Huxley wrote, "There is simply one corner from the universe it is certain of improving and that's your own self."
Learning relationships, especially those that engage us emotionally in an intense manner, certainly are a strong mechanism where we can evolve, once we are stimulated more - over the power of emotion - by these often difficult and/or painful relationship experiences. I myself gained a major lesson in self-esteem via a relationship that was dysfunctional and very difficult. However, the lesson was extremely valuable and was permanently gained - and, indeed, may have been all the more permanently etched within me due to the extent from the difficulty and emotional struggle I underwent.
What we figure to gain from relationships genuinely will vary in one person to another and can vary wildly from learning self-esteem, to becoming less passive and dependent, to understanding how to be more emotionally available, to being more caring, to being less self-absorbed - or perhaps to more and more discerning about relationships. The lessons can be quite diverse. However, one theme running through these learning relationships could be that the universe is drawing care about our inauthentic "stuff" that keeps us from being who we really are and is also asking us to function on it. Not every person, of course, will work on all, or even any, of his/her stuff in a lifetime because that could indeed be, as earlier mentioned, what we will experience in that lifetime - never returning to our pure essence (and, also as earlier mentioned, not everyone will have much inauthentic stuff to work on or clear).
Interestingly, I've seen another mechanism by which these learning relationships operate and that has to do with another ingredient that induces both people to be together inside a relationship, aside from just the resonance of the inauthentic stuff. This factor will often manifest itself like a "pull" between the 2 different people. This pull can often be experienced like a sexual attraction, but are often experienced as being a mental or psychic pull: they may be just fascinated by the other person for whatever reason and can't get that person from his/her mind; or they're continually looking to figure your partner out. (And, yes, this leads to obsession.)
A few things i have frequently seen that we find fascinating is usually that when the lesson that was a major raison d'tre to the relationship is finally learned, the pull between the two of them - sexual attraction, mental conundrum, obsession, or whatever - just disappears as if by magic. I regard this "pull," however it is expressed and experienced, as a device utilized by the universe to have us to master a lesson (by getting us in the relationship that may teach us the lesson). This type of interesting and creative device!
About the Author:
Want to find out more about How To Impress A Girl, then visit Darcy Folmar's site on how to choose the best How To Pickup Women for your needs.
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar