Are you a nice guy? Maybe this is one of the qualities that your ex-girlfriend found so attractive in you. Now you're broken up and you're stepping up your game and trying to be super nice to her. You hope that this will make her want to get back together with you. You feel that if you are nicer than any other guy that she knows that she'll come back to you. If you can keep from messing up then she will have no choice but to want to get back together with you, right? Wrong! You're actually killing your chances of getting her back by being overly nice.
A change has to be made and although this is going to be tough for you, it is simply something that you need to do. If you want her back then you need to put a stop to this relationship destroyer. I know you're going to fight it and your instinct is telling you that being nice to her and doing everything right will win her heart but there's a problem. The problem is that you are in the middle of the situation. You are so scared of losing her forever that your actions and thoughts are distorted. You might never be able to see the logic in this unless you try to remove yourself from the situation and see it from a different point of view.
While you are thinking that you're helping to get her back, you're actually changing her impression of you in her mind. You are thinking that she will think that you're nice when in actuality she is losing respect for you every day. It all works out well for her because she gets the ego boost of knowing that it doesn't matter that she hurt you and she doesn't have to feel bad about breaking your heart. She might apologize any time she feels bad but she knows that you will say that it's ok and that you forgive her because you're nice. In time she will be less than nothing to her and she will walk away unscathed while you do your best to put your life back together. She'll find someone else who turns her on and she'll make him be nice to her and it will all be because you boosted her ego so much in the wake of your breakup.
What you need to do is back off. You need to break ties with her and kill that image that she has inside her head of you from your breakup. You want her to begin to miss you and think back to how wonderful you were. You want her to become interested in you again and wonder if she made a terrible mistake. You want to become the one that got away. You want her to start chasing you instead of the other way around.
It might be tough for you at first to get into this mindset but here are a couple of secrets that will get you moving along that path. Think about what you have been through and what she has done and get angry. If you start missing her and long to hear her voice, get yourself good and angry before you pick up that phone. Think about the fact that she isn't even really a friend of yours because friends don't do this sort of stuff to each other. She left you. She was the one that ended your relationship. You are not some pathetic person that chases after people begging them to be your friend. People like you and they want to be your friend. Once you start feeling some righteous anger you can be sure that you're starting to feel better about yourself.
You might feel a lot of resistance at first. You might want to keep just a little bit of contact with her and let her know that you're still there because you're afraid but all of this is simple a must if you ever hope to get her back. If you ever expect her to fall in love with you again then she has to value you above everybody else that she knows. She has to have some respect for you as a person and a man. Wait until after she comes crawling back to you with tears in her eyes before you say a nice word to her. Make her make the first move. Hold your ground and you will find that getting your ex girlfriend back isn't all that difficult and you will be getting her back on your terms and not hers.
A change has to be made and although this is going to be tough for you, it is simply something that you need to do. If you want her back then you need to put a stop to this relationship destroyer. I know you're going to fight it and your instinct is telling you that being nice to her and doing everything right will win her heart but there's a problem. The problem is that you are in the middle of the situation. You are so scared of losing her forever that your actions and thoughts are distorted. You might never be able to see the logic in this unless you try to remove yourself from the situation and see it from a different point of view.
While you are thinking that you're helping to get her back, you're actually changing her impression of you in her mind. You are thinking that she will think that you're nice when in actuality she is losing respect for you every day. It all works out well for her because she gets the ego boost of knowing that it doesn't matter that she hurt you and she doesn't have to feel bad about breaking your heart. She might apologize any time she feels bad but she knows that you will say that it's ok and that you forgive her because you're nice. In time she will be less than nothing to her and she will walk away unscathed while you do your best to put your life back together. She'll find someone else who turns her on and she'll make him be nice to her and it will all be because you boosted her ego so much in the wake of your breakup.
What you need to do is back off. You need to break ties with her and kill that image that she has inside her head of you from your breakup. You want her to begin to miss you and think back to how wonderful you were. You want her to become interested in you again and wonder if she made a terrible mistake. You want to become the one that got away. You want her to start chasing you instead of the other way around.
It might be tough for you at first to get into this mindset but here are a couple of secrets that will get you moving along that path. Think about what you have been through and what she has done and get angry. If you start missing her and long to hear her voice, get yourself good and angry before you pick up that phone. Think about the fact that she isn't even really a friend of yours because friends don't do this sort of stuff to each other. She left you. She was the one that ended your relationship. You are not some pathetic person that chases after people begging them to be your friend. People like you and they want to be your friend. Once you start feeling some righteous anger you can be sure that you're starting to feel better about yourself.
You might feel a lot of resistance at first. You might want to keep just a little bit of contact with her and let her know that you're still there because you're afraid but all of this is simple a must if you ever hope to get her back. If you ever expect her to fall in love with you again then she has to value you above everybody else that she knows. She has to have some respect for you as a person and a man. Wait until after she comes crawling back to you with tears in her eyes before you say a nice word to her. Make her make the first move. Hold your ground and you will find that getting your ex girlfriend back isn't all that difficult and you will be getting her back on your terms and not hers.
About the Author:
For some real insight into getting your girlfriend back check out this system. See how Matt Hustons book can help you to get her back.
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar