You're broken up. You and the man you love. He was everything to you. He was your world and your constant companion through every day and you miss him. You feel heartache and pain. If you weren't upset there would probably be a question in your heart over whether you actually loved him at all in the first place and now you want to get him back.
You miss your best friend. You miss everything about him. Even when things were circling the drain you started missing him. You miss that unspoken connection that the two of you shared. You miss sharing everything with him and you wonder if he misses you the same way. You want to talk to him but you are scared that if you do the wrong thing it will just make matters worse. He is so important to you and you are petrified that you will make the wrong move.
No matter how great that temptation might be to call him or text him, you know that you need to resist it. Those thoughts can be overwhelming and they probably occupy your mind more than you might like but you must resist them. You might tell yourself that you need to call him just to let him know that you're still there. You want him to know that you think about him and that you still love him. You tell yourself that if you don't then he might think that you have forgotten about him and then he'll just decide to find someone else. Crazy thoughts fill your mind.
Resist this temptation to call him at any cost. Do whatever you have to do to keep this urge in check. Think about what it will feel like if he rejects you or if he doesn't answer your call. What if he sends you to voicemail or what if you hear another woman in the background? It is very easy for your mind to play tricks on you and you might find yourself even worse off than you are right now if you're not careful. You'll want to spy on him and find out what is going on in his life. You'll have crazy thoughts that he really has moved on without you and you'll search for clues to prove that this fear is true.
Instead of destroying the last bit of self-esteem that you have and making yourself look crazy in the process, do whatever you have to do to avoid falling into this trap. Watch a few movies or go for a walk. Go shopping or go out to eat with some friends or even alone. Whatever you have to do to avoid acting on your fears and insecurities is a good thing to do at this moment. Just make sure that the things that you do are positive things. Unhealthy choices like going out drinking can lead to drunk dialing or making even more drastic mistakes than you might if you were sober.
If you wonder how long you should avoid this temptation, the rule generally is to avoid talking to your ex until you feel that you can handle his rejection without falling apart. Once you don't feel that urge or need to call him then you are getting better and you can start thinking about getting back in contact with him. Once the pressure is off and you don't feel like your entire future hangs in the balance of getting him back then it is time to start thinking about what to say to him to get him back. Having this kind of outlook or attitude will help you in many ways. You will no longer be coming across as desperate or needy.
All of this is why it is so important that you get your life back together after the breakup. Working at helping your heart to heal and caring for yourself again can be difficult after the breakup. Your ego has taken a tremendous blow and you might not feel too good about yourself. After all, the one that you loved has rejected you. But you need to understand what caused the rift between the two of you and what you can do to get him back after the breakup. The sooner you get back on your feet, the sooner you can work towards winning him over.
There is really nothing wrong with you. Breakups are a very natural thing and are based upon relationship dynamics that you probably weren't even aware of when they were going on. As the balance in your relationship tilted toward you caring more about your relationship, he naturally began to care less. It is nothing personal and he probably had no idea of what was going on either. Most guys are clueless when it comes to such things. You tried so hard that he began to try less. But now it's time to get things back on track and that's what you need to do if you are serious about getting him back.
You miss your best friend. You miss everything about him. Even when things were circling the drain you started missing him. You miss that unspoken connection that the two of you shared. You miss sharing everything with him and you wonder if he misses you the same way. You want to talk to him but you are scared that if you do the wrong thing it will just make matters worse. He is so important to you and you are petrified that you will make the wrong move.
No matter how great that temptation might be to call him or text him, you know that you need to resist it. Those thoughts can be overwhelming and they probably occupy your mind more than you might like but you must resist them. You might tell yourself that you need to call him just to let him know that you're still there. You want him to know that you think about him and that you still love him. You tell yourself that if you don't then he might think that you have forgotten about him and then he'll just decide to find someone else. Crazy thoughts fill your mind.
Resist this temptation to call him at any cost. Do whatever you have to do to keep this urge in check. Think about what it will feel like if he rejects you or if he doesn't answer your call. What if he sends you to voicemail or what if you hear another woman in the background? It is very easy for your mind to play tricks on you and you might find yourself even worse off than you are right now if you're not careful. You'll want to spy on him and find out what is going on in his life. You'll have crazy thoughts that he really has moved on without you and you'll search for clues to prove that this fear is true.
Instead of destroying the last bit of self-esteem that you have and making yourself look crazy in the process, do whatever you have to do to avoid falling into this trap. Watch a few movies or go for a walk. Go shopping or go out to eat with some friends or even alone. Whatever you have to do to avoid acting on your fears and insecurities is a good thing to do at this moment. Just make sure that the things that you do are positive things. Unhealthy choices like going out drinking can lead to drunk dialing or making even more drastic mistakes than you might if you were sober.
If you wonder how long you should avoid this temptation, the rule generally is to avoid talking to your ex until you feel that you can handle his rejection without falling apart. Once you don't feel that urge or need to call him then you are getting better and you can start thinking about getting back in contact with him. Once the pressure is off and you don't feel like your entire future hangs in the balance of getting him back then it is time to start thinking about what to say to him to get him back. Having this kind of outlook or attitude will help you in many ways. You will no longer be coming across as desperate or needy.
All of this is why it is so important that you get your life back together after the breakup. Working at helping your heart to heal and caring for yourself again can be difficult after the breakup. Your ego has taken a tremendous blow and you might not feel too good about yourself. After all, the one that you loved has rejected you. But you need to understand what caused the rift between the two of you and what you can do to get him back after the breakup. The sooner you get back on your feet, the sooner you can work towards winning him over.
There is really nothing wrong with you. Breakups are a very natural thing and are based upon relationship dynamics that you probably weren't even aware of when they were going on. As the balance in your relationship tilted toward you caring more about your relationship, he naturally began to care less. It is nothing personal and he probably had no idea of what was going on either. Most guys are clueless when it comes to such things. You tried so hard that he began to try less. But now it's time to get things back on track and that's what you need to do if you are serious about getting him back.
About the Author:
Visit my blog and discover what you can do after the breakup to get him back. Read about male psychology in this review of Get Him Back Forever by Matt Huston.
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