Reflections On Possessive And Jealous Men
The biggest problem in the dating world are jealous and possessive men. While they are desperate to find a woman who can love and adore, once they have found their possessive men most often do not think you can stay with her because of the lack of self-confidence self-respect and self-esteem . They really believe they deserve the girl to try to take her to trust them and increase their feeling of dependence. It is very common these days as more and more men are uncomfortable with what they are and lack self-esteem.
The first hurdle a woman faces is not being able to identify a man jealous and possessive in advance. He is charming and handsome, has the world at his feet so it looks and have absolutely no reason to think that it is not Prince Charming. And perhaps it is Mr. nice-guy right now. But if you know then what he later discovers that things would be much easier.
I first saw possessive-man-syndrome while working for a few years in a normal job in an English city. At the end of the day I walked into my apartment and am always impressed by how many boyfriends sat patiently in their cars waiting to pick up their girlfriends and wives work. I dare say in retrospect, some were genuine, but it took several months to see the same faces, before falling in the fact that these guys were not there to see the best of intentions. The cat was out of the bag by a friend who said he never could go for a drink after work because her boyfriend did not like and always insisted that his work was collected at 5 pm sharp. If I had to go anywhere I needed to know in advance.
This startling revelation can be known to readers of many women, but for a guy who had not realized that great moment in all that was the problem. The key question that emerges is a man of low self-esteem. In general, possessive and jealous man believes his wife was stolen. Do not trust the words of his love, and ignores the fact that she stays with him. He feels that he is plotting to escape at any turn, looking for a way out and really do not want for anything. Why? Just because you feel you deserve it and they basically can do much better than him.
This causes a dilemma possessive man. If I really wanted to run, how I can make of your stay. Easy, I'll do it for me, I need and want and need not be anywhere but with me. Even if I go out every night with my friends. The man did not love what you do not understand why she loves him so much. But he has to feel what he does, there must be demonstrations on how far you can. It will promote a positive attitude to stay home together and social activities will be extinguished. Home is where you can see.
As a relationship develops the possessive man to find a way to make sure you're there for him. It will create fictitious scenarios where he needs your help and assistance that affect your social routine. Instead of meeting friends that you care. Of course at first this is all part of building romantic relationships. After all you want to spend as much time as possible with the man she loves. Gradually, the divorce of their friends and daily activities, even spending time illustrating how your friends are not really your true friends. He is isolating you from their own needs.
Once you've done that also criticize and make you feel bad about yourself to make sure you also have low self esteem. If you do not feel good about yourself, then how can anyone want. He will tell you how lucky you are to have him and he will always love you for who you are. And finally, let's build that degree of dependence (and fear) that both really believes what he says is true. Your own identity becomes a thing of the past and his friends make many comments concerned that ignores or excuses.
At this stage now where you want, isolated and dominated. He feels better about yourself, because they depend on him, but never his trust, because there will always believe that there is a conspiracy that got away. They actually do not love him after all. He needs constant demonstration and proof that you do. His friends and not knowing any of this even though it may suspect. He will remain the kind of large social groups. Soon you reach the point where afraid to go out socially in the case of a hard time when I get home. This my friends, is what life is. This is not why we date and have relationships. Yes, everyone wants to feel desired, wanted and loved their partner. Not so.
A little jealous, ironically, can go far. Women (and men) like being loved and wanted and an arm around the waist so that development can be fun. Small amounts of jealousy (very small in a playful way) can be attractive and sexy. However, we know that things have gone too far what matters. Many women have told me that a man who does not have a jealous bone in your body can not love. A man has to show that he cares about your drawing from time to time. Both parties feel good about this. But it must be kept under control.
There are many reasons why men are becoming more possessive in today's society and we all have our own theories. It is possible that the increase of women at work and in determining their own economic independence and socially, that men feel increasingly threatened. Their traditional role as husband and father, the dominant voice in the home, is increasingly archaic and has little place in today's society.
Instead they are desperately trying to reposition themselves in a relationship and find out what their new role really is. But old habits die hard and men still trying to cling to the ways in which they were raised. It will take time to learn that men are not always the main focus in a relationship and you should pay close attention to the needs of your partner, you are given. And to be honest, do not expect miracles overnight.
Men who do not feel good about their own domestic roles, their lack of masculinity, their frustrations with their own careers poor, their lack of financial success, the dominant influence of parents and their general lack of welfare of all can help to the progression of the possessive tendencies. For someone who did not possess. To be loved is an open invitation, not something to be captured and held in prison.
A happy, confident, self-confident man does not have issues about possession and jealousy. No, although many aspects of a relationship can be shared, which also contains the independence of his bride and her set of independent values of security as it does. Relationships are for sharing, but also the preservation of freedom of expression and personal identity. Realtionships also about innate trust.
There was an interesting article recently in a national newspaper about how dominant career women with great success and financial wealth often still had very dominant partners in the country. Let us not confuse manliness and masculinity with possession. Jealousy and possessiveness is about the elimination of the trust, respect and dignity. This report and submit to the needs of the party injured by the wishes of the strong force. That has no place in our modern world.
Jealous and possessive men are sad and pathetic creatures are very common today. As a woman is not always necessary to put up with them and not what they really deserve. The irony is that incurred by the child was relaxed and confident, probably has never lost in the first place, but the low self-esteem means that forced him to spend what he feared most. Let him go. If you're reading this and still have to go out, then you will have your friends and family to help a person with serious psychological problems. They try to maintain and use all possible measures to ensure that the psychological need and come back. We will work on the weaknesses that you created in you.
But trying to take heart. Many women have been in the same situation and moved on. Although it is very difficult. When women are becoming more confident in their own lives, so some men fall into the low self-esteem. There are plenty of good guys so far and love and that's not the only thing that will make you happy, everything he says. It may take a long time to heal some of the traumas that have passed, but the reality is your life and your world, and if you do what you want to be happy, which is 100% of their prerogative to do so. No need jealous and possessive men in this world and the sooner the decision without their help, the better.
Danger Signs:
• Dismay and suggestions about how to dress
• Overly concerned about where you are going when socializing
• Insistence on escorting worldly places
• Interference with social plans
• Excessive phone calls to his whereabouts
• be too intense for anything
• Inability to communicate and discuss
• Lower and anything that makes you feel inferior
• The lack of perspective and self-esteem or lack of confidence
• The dominant tone in national agreements
• aggressive temperament and a reasonable attitude minor details
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